HerStory: Prologue

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I have been doing an incredible amount of research on the issues that affect Black Women in communities today. These issues are different from woman to woman, and they are all varied by degrees of intensity, but the most important fact that I have studied between each that I find is we are all interconnected to each other because of these issues. Be it a concern about a job or finances, education, children, or loved ones, each issue we have creates a link between us and the next woman. Now imagine that-being linked to not only your mother, who faces a concern as you do, or even your next door neighbor…but to other Black Women in other countries as well.

This link is shared on such a global scale that it is scary to think on how divided we have become. What separates us is never stronger that what draws us together. Yet, the void that was created within us to be filled with love, becomes diseased with hate and enmity towards the next woman. The reasons? Trivial matters of course, but when we journey beyond those materialistic concerns, we will find that link-the story between each of us that draws us together.

 


Being the ever inclusive person I am, I always seek to find myself in others. I guess you can call it a somewhat selfish ego based desire of mine; just to simply know that I am not alone and that I am represented well within others. To my surprise I have a found a ton of similarities between myself and other females, and often these similarities are exposed due to a conflict. My only problem is if it is a conflict that I have been through before and I want to help a Sista out…I’m left paralyzed. My mouth won’t move. My brain takes over and begins speaking to her instead- this would be a wonderful thing if she could read my thoughts but of course, you know how super powers go.

My problem is not one where I don’t know what to say. I know EXACTLY how to articulate anything that pops into my mind, honey. But of course, my problem is being too afraid to share it. I’m a pretty open minded and self aware person so I know to greet any outside conversation with that same unbiased attitude. But I can’t trust that others will be the same way. I’m afraid of negative judgement. So, I asked one of my Sistafriends to give me advice about how to become more comfortable sharing what I have been through with others. What she told me was this,

“Your story is your testimony, your testimony is a breakthrough to another person and that person’s breakthrough is a blessing for both of you.” 

I couldn’t have said this any better myself. Truthfully, I was unaware of the weight of her words until I realized that the candid conversations we have with one another, have been my counseling sessions. I realized that from the very first time I confided in her about a sensitive situation, I gained an incredible amount of strength to deal with my issues and confidence in knowing that I wasn’t alone. I wouldn’t have ever gotten any of this had she not chosen to tell her story. Her story was the link between the two of us. What started out as a conversation filled with confusion, hurt, and bitterness, has now translated into a source of humor and entertainment over time. And again, I say, it is all because she told her story.  Of course, she included that we should only share with others the things we have been through to help them with struggles…but there is a time and a place to do so.

Now, who would I be if I didn’t do about a week’s worth of introspective thinking over this powerful realization? Who would I also be if I didn’t come up with a brilliant initiative to continue her unforeseen efforts?

I wouldn’t be me.

Because I am Me, I want to create a space in some form where other women can share their experiences with each other-but in a candid way. I realize that not everyone wants their names attached to a story, but they do want their story to be told. Because of what my Sistafriend’s story did for me, it could do the same for hundreds and even thousands of other women. I do want to help inspire other women to pull more of the best parts of themselves to the forefront of everything they do in life.Even though I may not have many resources or help for starting this initiative, I will tell you that it is something that I am willing to build on over time as I hone other crafts.We all have stories to share.

“Iiiiin West Central Georgia, I was born and raised. On the playground is where I spent some of my days…”

-Candra

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