#HonestSinner: Love, Protect, & Provide!

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           It’s either you do or you don’t when asked the question. 

Either you wanna be husband and wife or you don’t. If  you’re not sure what that means research it. And by research, I mean get in your bible and find out. That doesn’t mean go ask another married man/woman or a single and mingling person because chances are they’ll be just as lost or Perhaps even more confused on the details of marriage as you. Ok, maybe ask a seasoned couple with years in the game(maybe), but these new folk with 10 years or less, I’m gonna say “nah”, especially not the ones that play by a totally different morale code.

Somewhere in that great book “The Bible” it says, “He who finds his wife, finds a good thing” Proverbs 18:22. It also says, “Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife” that’s Genesis 2:24 and lastly but not least there’s 1st Corinthians 7 which basically says you should only be touching your “OWN” spouse. That goes for both the husband and the wife.

Just so there’s no confusion and that you know exactly who’s writing this let me be transparent, no I am not married nor have I ever been but marriage to me is not a game. It’s nothing to be toyed with or taken lightly. It’s a covenant between a man and a woman with God, it’s a lifelong commitment that should be taken seriously and isn’t meant for the light or weak-hearted period. 

Once you decide to take that step and become one, understand that by the law of God, that’s exactly what you are – “ONE”. You are no longer individuals in the biblical sense, Any and all decisions are to be made jointly as a unit and if no agreement can made or a fair compromise between the two of you, then you continue to discuss (not argue), but discuss to a proper one that meets both sides’ terms. 

Now women especially you strong independent ones the time has come where you have to surrender some of that power to your husband. Yes, he recognizes that you’ve always been the one in total control of your life and he knows it’ll probably take sometime for you to be willing to fully relinquish some of that control to him, but you’re going to have to. The day of your union is the day you decided to make him the man of your household and by doing so in biblical law (if you have God in your marriage) he is now just that. So please allow him to do his job and not only lead your family but lead you as well. Does that mean you have to lose yourself and give up the essence of who you are or who he fell in love with, absolutely not. That just means that the way you would handle a particular situation when you were single may be different from his approach on the matter. It’s your job to be supportive and subjectively suggest how he takes on the task. If his way doesn’t work so be it. You’re a team, you’re a coach just as he is there’s no need for the negativity or power struggle. Simply take it upon yourself and teach him another way to handle it, I promise he won’t mind. 

Fellas, it’s your job as the man to always listen to your wife and to always reassure her that her security lies within you – leave no room for doubt. There should be no question to where or who your loyalty rest with. You have one job, well maybe two. That is to love, protect and provide (ok so that’s three). When she pierces at your soul through your eyes she should see and feel nothing less than the love of God himself penetrating her soul back through her own eyes.

As a wise young man once said to me, “We all have a kingdom to protect with our own castles in it. Around our castles we have a moat. That moat should be so wide that it’s impossible for anyone to simply jump across. The only access to the castle should be a thick heavy drawbridge that only comes down upon the order of the King or Queen. Only by their invite is someone to enter through the gate and at no other time should that bridge be down. The moat it is not only to be wide, but also dark and deep filled with all type of creatures alligators, flesh eating fish, etc. Making swimming or boating across not an option at all.”

You see the goal of the drawbridge and moat is to keep unwanted and uninvited guest or visitors out. Your marriage should be defended and operated the exact same way. All you should be worried about as a couple, as a unit, as the King and Queen is what is happening inside of your kingdom. It’s your job to protect your castle, your marriage by not inviting unwanted guest or the enemy in. Let temptation roam the outer rim of your moat. Be very aware that it’s out there, keep a close eye on it but never lower your drawbridge and let it stroll across into your castle unless of course you feel you’re no longer fit or ready to be King and Queen.