#TallTalesTuesday: Can I Get A Dollar

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The other day I was running errands and decided to stop at my favorite store. The magical store where everything is a dollar! I normally go to this store for two or three specific items but always come out with 20 plus items. . Which usually consist of things I really don’t need but that thought in my head that says “hey it’s only a dollar” or “Oh they was selling this for 3 or 4 dollars at Walmart, I might as well get it here for the low” gets me every time.

So as I’m walking up to the dollar store I peeped this homeless man sitting off to the side on the curb with a sign that reads ‘Retired Army Vet Homeless Anything Helps’. Now I was having a good day so far and it happen to be pay day so my pockets was feeling a little generous. But I was not about to give him money so he could go get high with it. Not saying all homeless people get high on drugs but if he was planning on to it wasn’t going to be sponsored by me.

So I decided to buy him a few things while I was in the store buying miscellaneous items. I grabbed him some water, crackers, spam and some socks cause I read somewhere homeless people be needing socks. I felt like the spam and crackers would be a good anytime meal for him even though I think spam looks disgusting. But if anybody was hungry enough I bet it tastes like a filet min yon with a side of butter garlic toast.

As I walked to the homeless man he looked please to see me. As I got close enough I reached out and handed him the bag cause he looked like he just got back from the ninja turtles house (they lived in the sewer) and I wasn’t trying to figure out what that smelled like. He looked at me with a confused look on his face and says:

Homeless Man: The Fuck am I supposed to do with this.

Me: Umm eat n***a the F**k. I know its been a minute from the looks but I didn’t think that was something a person could forget how to do. And plus your sign says ‘anything helps’ with yo’ ungrateful a**! 

Homeless Man: Yea n***a any amount of money!

Me: Aw yea I definitely wasn’t about to give you no money so you can go spend it on some smokey pebbles.

Homeless man: I don’t do drugs!

Me: Well why don’t you get you a job then!

Homeless Man: Nigga I make 50 plus dollars a day on this corner now get on, you scaring my donates away!

So needless to say you can now happily I mean sadly catch me at a stoplight near you and if you do happen to have some spam I will happily take it cause it wasn’t that bad after I put some hot sauce on it.  Moral of story is homeless people are out here getting money money and I Jaron Fields am now an official panhandler. What can I say, Can I get a dollar.