#TallTalesTuesday Coons Will Be Coons

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So yesterday was a beautiful and glorious day outside so I decided to fire up my grill for the first time at my new house. Now this new neighborhood I live in isn’t like any other neighborhood I’ve ever lived in before. Not everybody and they momma is sitting out on the porch when you drive down the street. The police is driving by to get to their homes not to report to a disturbance and as you can probably already imagine most of my neighbors don’t look like me. Yes, yes I guess you can say I finally moved on up like the Jefferson’s to that deluxe apartment in the sky hypothetically of course.

So like I was saying I fired up my grill yesterday and threw me damn near a whole pig on there. My momma said as they say I put my foot in it. I put my foot in it so far you would have thought I was grilling my bunions the way that barbecue slapped you in your mouth when you bit in to it. I invited a few friends and family over to enjoy this feast with me. We did the the usual chilled, listened to music, played cards, drank and smoked until I spoke the magic words, “You don’t have to go home but you got to get the hell up out of here.”

When I woke up the next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face just thinking about all the leftovers in my fridge that I was about to pack up and take to lunch with me. Just the thought of me biting into that good barbecue on my lunch and my co workers asking for a taste and me happily telling them hell no was all I could think about. I loaded up a couple plates of food and headed to my car. I sat my food down in my seat and just as I was about to get in my neighbor Bill calls my name. I have only talked to this older white man once when I first moved in so I decided to walk over to his neck of the woods to see what he had to say. As I approached his garage I noticed the only other black face I’ve seen in this neighborhood crossing the street coming towards us. He walks up introduces his self and say hey to Bill. So then I ask Bill what is it he wanted to talk about. He starts to tell me how this is a quite neighborhood and how he felt my music was too loud last night and how he feels I shouldn’t allow my guest to park on my grass. Now its one thing for an old more than likely racist white man to speak his mind about stuff he’s not use to. But what really pissed me off was that the my only African American neighbor was just echoing everything this man Bill was saying. You would think that if anybody at least the brother would have your back but it should have been expect just by the way he walked and talked. Lets just say he was black but he wasn’t black if you know what I mean. But on that note I happily told Mr.Bill and Uncle Tom where they can put they thoughts about what I do at my house and I walked off so I could get to work.

As soon as I turned around I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was a mother F***in’ raccoon in my car going in on my plates of food! I couldn’t do nothing but stand there as I shedded a tear and watch that raccoon run off with a whole rib still in his mouth, leaving behind nothing but scraps. The moral of this story is that Jaron barbecue be sooo gooood, it makes raccoons come out in daylight. What can I say Coons will be Coons!