MixxView: Pray for Janay

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As we all are aware, Ray Rice physically assaulted his wife Janay in elevator early this year and the incident was caught on camera and leaked for the whole world to see. As punishment, Rice was fired from the Baltimore Ravens. This issue of domestic violence has made world wide news and all have been putting their two cents in favor or not with Ray Rice but not much support has been on the victim, Janay. I’ve seen comments pleading that Rice gets his job back or why are we punishing him if Janay is choosing to forgive. Some post even suggest that she had it coming or that Janay must have said or done something to evoke such a response. Are you kidding me! Since when do we blame the victim? Why are we just singling her out as if statistics haven’t proved that  1 in 4 women experience domestic violence with an intimate partner and anywhere from 77-81% of them stay in the relationship and face abuse again. Janay’s choice to stay in her marriage to Rice is not one that we have to live with or even agree with but the insults and postings on social media need to stop.

And to add insult to injury, people have been poking fun of the whole ordeal by creating Ray Rice costumes of the assault. Some even have the nerve to put their children in Ray Rice uniforms and have a blow up doll being dragged behind them symbolizing the violence Janay encountered. That is just foolishness at its finest. How dare we make fun of something so vile and horrific! There’s nothing cute about that and to let your kids partake in the foolery is just beyond my understanding. I was taken aback and frustrated when I saw pictures of these shenanigans all on social media but then my anger turned into sadness. To make light of domestic violence is sick and it needs to be addressed on all levels.

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Now I’m not one to pull out the rusty race card but I find it hard to believe that if this were a white woman who was knocked out cold and dragged out of an elevator for the whole world to see that costumes would still be a joking matter. It would be off with their heads! No one would find this funny and those who did would be scrutinize to the fullest. It’s even sadder to see the comments justifying this mess saying that it’s Janay’s fault that this happen or since she chose to save her marriage and stick by her husband after the abuse that it gives everyone a pass to laugh. Does it really? It’s even sadder to see that some of these vulgar comments are from our own people especially black women.

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Black women are almost three times as likely to experience death as a result of domestic violence than White women yet we have the nerve to laugh and criticize Janay? That’s the last thing we need to be doing. We should be uplifting her, building her up, encouraging her while she stands watching as her horror story becomes a mockery and she’s granted the next black poster women for abuse. Her pain should not be our entertainment. We should not be amused by the striking of Rice’s hands to her face. It’s not okay. It’s not okay that yet again black men are painted to be angry, violent, untamed wild animals that can’t follow the rules of society and are incompetent when finding ways to express themselves. It’s not okay that this incident is added to the list of many images that our future daughters will imitate and comprehend that this is how a real man is supposed to treat me and even though this doesn’t feel right, they will somehow equate their inability to leave as strength to withstand another blow all in the name of being a “ride or die.” It’s not okay.

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Though the Rice family will be praying for those who are mocking them and running a muck this year with these ridiculous Halloween costumes, Janay I will be praying for you. I pray that though it hurts so bad, God will dull the pain with His love; That He buffs the rough edges of your soul by reminding you that from bad comes good. I pray that He will anoint you with strength and self care and cause peace and prosperity to come to you in abundance. I pray that He helps you appreciate that after the sorrow, joy is near and sweeter and that you may look forward to better times ahead. I pray that God gives you patience and wisdom so you can endure anything with Him by your side. I pray God becomes your rock, your fortress, your everything. With God, you can discover complete serenity. He’ll never forsake you. He was with you at the start, and He will be with you at the end.

Rather than laugh or scold her, why don’t we all just take a moment and pray for Janay.

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